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March 4th, 2003

And you thought you knew everything…

Here are few funny images from the past that most of you should enjoy:

Also, this is from an email that I’ve seen before, but still find pretty interesting…

Mosquito repellents don’t repel. They hide you. The
spray blocks the mosquito’s sensors so they don’t know you’re there.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away
from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood
plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother’s first flight.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each
salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike
factory workers in Malaysia combined.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn’t like being seen
wearing them in public.

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are
already married.

The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and
Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs…but not downstairs.

A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.

The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when the
engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor
and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains
all the letters from the word “criminal.”

The second was William Jefferson Clinton.

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world’s
nuclear weapons combined.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

On average people fear spiders more than death.

Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.

Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

It’s physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year
because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all
the books that would occupy the building.

A snail can sleep for three years.

No word in the English language rhymes with “MONTH.”

Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never
stop growing. SCARY!!!

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

All polar bears are left handed.

In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including
their eyebrows and eyelashes.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on
one row of the keyboard.

“Go,” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be
39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall. Barbie’s full name
is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

Almost everyone who reads this email will try to lick their elbow.

March 2nd, 2003

I am Tiger Woods

On a day when Tiger Woods finally won the Accenture match play championship that has eluded him for so long, I decided to become Tiger Woods for four holes of golf. After not playing for about a month, and not playing before that since my wedding back in October, my dad, cousin, uncle and me hit the fairways for a round of golf this afternoon. After shooting a dismal, although somewhat respectable since it was the best score of any of us, 51 on the front nine I proceeded to the back nine clinging to a one stroke lead. Little did I know Tiger Woods’ soul would stop by and lead me to 4 straight pars! That’s right, not just 4 pars in a round of 18 (which would be good), not just 4 pars in a back nine (which would be awesome), but 4 straight pars to start off the back nine (which is unbelievable)!! I then proceeded to get 3 straight bogeys, which is what I normally strive to achieve on “Any Given Sunday”…sorry, poor humor. Anyways, it got dark so we could only finish 7 of the last nine holes…but isn’t that the way it always is…your worst day just won’t seem to end, and your best days get cut short.

March 1st, 2003

Funny photos

So…I’ve added a gallery to our photo album that has some funny photos/cartoons. Also there is a movie that has been added that basically shows why girls live longer than guys.

March 1st, 2003

Why you should live in Florida

This an email sent to me from Nick (also a Florida native), and I think it illustrates the general consensus of all the smart people in the world who live in warm climates. Then again, who am I to speak since I’m moving to Munich where warmth is only something you can get from a lady named Ulga. :) Anyways, the article has some bad language, so not to offend anyone that doesn’t want to read it on purpose, I put it in the extended entry portion of this post. Click on the link below to read the rest…
Read the rest of this entry »

March 1st, 2003

What time is it?

With all the Anti-War stuff going on in the world today, I am glad to see that someone has gotten the right idea about what time it is…it’s “Time to Bomb Saddam“!!