In case you haven’t heard, Lebron James has been ruled ineligible to play the remainder of his high school basketball career. The kid, and I do emphasize kid, accepted a couple of Jerseys from a store in exchange for having his photo taken with the owner. I guess this is a violation since he used his fame as an athlete to get free stuff. As Cassidy points out, they should of just had him return the Jerseys and avoid the media bonanza that is about to ensue. He should known the rules, but he is a kid worth a few million in the coming months…so I’m sure his vision is slightly blurred when it comes to certain things. I was as good as this kid back in my high school days, and you didn’t see me getting busted Here is the link:

• Yahoo! Sports: Lebron James Ineligible
• Some cool artwork with Lebron

Well, I’ve finally gotten around to adding the New Years pictures…there are pictures from both our camera and Jeremy’s camera. So go to 2003 New Years pictures to see all the fun.

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 & I noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower &jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 & Personal Attention 6.5, but has installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 & NBA 3.0. Now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs & House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashed the system! I tried running Nagger 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

---

Dear Desperate,
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. At the command line, try entering C:\THOUGHTYOULOVEDME & download Tears 6.0 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run Jewelry2.0 &Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly.wav files. Whatever you do, do NOT install Mother in Law 1.0 or re-install another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications & Husband 1.0will certainly crash.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory & cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory & performance. I recommend Hot Food 3.0 & Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck, Tech Support

In case some of you haven’t noticed, I’ve added some new stuff to the side columns. The first was a list of recent links that I have posted in my entries. It basically just gives you the latest websites that I found of interest. The second thing I added was a list of different searches people have used to find my site. Whenever a person does a search on a search engine, and then they click on the link to my site…I can extract what they searched for, and which search engine was used. Notice that there have been some really strange searches that have found there way to my site. I think all the sex things are because of my entry: “The Man Code“. If you want to see a full list of all referrers links that have come to my site, go to my “Show Referrers” page (style still needs to be updated to accomodate Netscape users). Anyways, the third thing I added was a list of my most recent humor entries. My humor entries are basically a compilation of funny emails I receive and thought others would enjoy. Hope you enjoy the upgrades.

I’m sure most of you have heard by now that Barbie and I are moving to Europe so I won’t bore you with the details of why, what I’m going to do, and all that other useless information. However, I did want to take this oppurtunity to bore you with where we are going to be living in London so you know where to go when you visit. Our place looks to be on the outskirts though, a 30 minute train ride to the city. Well here is the link to our future home:

• Home in London

The infamous “Raider Nation” has been silenced by none other than the Tampa Bay Bucaneers!! The Bucs absolutely dismantled the Raiders from start to finish…including 5 interceptions, 3 of which were returned for Touchdowns. I must admit I am not a true Bucs fan, but I was pulling for them so I didn’t have to listen to the Raider fans talk trash. Either way it was a win for the state of Florida and a loss for California…and that is always a good thing.

Final Score: Bucs 38 Raiders 21

On a side note, it was actually fun watching Audra tackle Nick as the Bucs defender scored the last TD to give Nick a shot at winning $400 in squares. You’ve never seen a more intense extra point with a 26 point lead…if he misses Nick doesn’t win…if he makes it Railsback is up 4 hundo!! Let’s just say the Railsbacks were celebrating after the game.

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those
little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

OK… so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs”, what does that make the Tennessee Titans ?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one enjoys it?

There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters

More…
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What’s a whack?
4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
7. When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts” and you put your two cents in . . . what happens to the other penny?
8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?
10. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
11. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
14. Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
15. “I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?
16. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
17. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
18. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
19. What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
20. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me … they’re cramming for their final exam.
21. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
22. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
23. If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
24. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
25. No one ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
26. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?
27. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
28. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
29. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

The fixes are on everywhere in the gambling world this week. You can bet on anything in regards to the Superbowl, from Chris Webber having more rebounds than total receptions by Jerry Rice…to whether or not an earthquake will delay the game. However, we finally have proof the entire world of gambling is fixed. A simple bet of Heads or Tails on the opening coin toss should be even odds since it is a 50-50 chance for each…right??? Well as infamous Lee Corso would say…”Not so fast my friend!!”. The gambling sites are actually giving you better odds if you bet on Heads! This is proof positive that everything is rigged when it comes to betting!!

Here are couple of fun links…one is an image that most can relate to at work, and the other is from a new tv show coming out.

• Using the ESCAPE KEY
• Life Guard Movie

For the first time as a married guy, I’m at home in Miami. The rest of my friends are spending the weekend in Vegas, but Barbie and I needed to come home (yes…Miami is home) to visit my family since we haven’t been here since before the wedding. Usually we come to Miami and it is in the 70’s and 80’s, but this time the temp is supposed to drop to 44 tonight, with a high of 60. Unfortunately for me I didn’t bring any warm clothes and am forced to tough it out.

Anyways, I just released my first OPEN SOURCE software project to the world yesterday to Freshmeat.net and Sourceforge.net. Both these sites host software projects for the world to use for free. The project I created was the football squares one that I use every year for the NFL playoffs. Just go to either of these sites and do a search for “squares”, “football”, or “Graver” and you should find the project.

p.s. Below are a few interesting links that you should check out:

• Tiger Woods’ Swing Analysis (this has to cost a lot to do!)
• Stickdeath.com (Very strange site…but the DUNK video is funny!)

We’ve all seen this commercial by now, and if you haven’t…then you are missing out. It’s the one where young Jordan takes on modern day Jordan. When you see it the first time you are simply amazed at how they got it to look so real. Young Jordan’s mannerisms are exact and precise…something you wouldn’t expect. Anyways, here is an article that details how they did it and the history behind the original idea.

• ESPN.com – Page2 – MJ’s ready for his close-up